Home 1 year

I know it has simply been forever since I have posted, but another day just couldn't go by with out recording my thoughts. We had a whirlwind of blessing from March 25, to April 8. First March 25th we celebrated Ben turning 2 years old, He is a typical 2 year old full of sweet kisses and lots of temper tantrums :) Only a mother of a two year old will understand why this is a sweet combination. April 2nd was Ben's gotcha day, It was 1 year ago on that day when full of nerves we went to the orphanage and held the most precious gift God could have ever placed in our arms. We are truly blessed. Of course April 8 is when Ben met his brother and sister for the very first time. All I can say about the past year is we are VERY VERY tired but very very much smitten. Ben had us at Hello ha ha, No seriously though he is our light! He makes every single day brighter.

Our Adoption was finalized last December and with it we received a piece of paper telling us what we already knew. Ben is now an "official" part of our family. But like I said we already knew that. God had a plan for Ben from the very first moment of time. I'm humbled that part of that plan was a little quiet family from a small town in Ohio. When God was weaving Ben together in his birth mothers womb he started calling to my heart. A deep deep calling so that when I first layed eyes on my son, our hearts cried out to each other "there you are I've been waiting"

As I look back on the last three years to when we started our adoption to today at this very moment, I can honestly say that God had to have been holding us in the palm of his hand. Every single step in our adoption has his palm prints all over it. There is no possible way in mine or Jason's own strength that we could have orchestrated such and awesome and amazing experience. Oh don't get me wrong we had definitely had our down periods just as well as the high ones. But I'm talking about when you step back and actually see the whole picture. The way every piece was woven and spun together just perfect to get us to the point we are. God is so awesome, I just stand in awe that he loves us that much! WOW.

Amazed

We just accomplished our second post placement visit today. As this one came to a close I just had to smile, this puts us one step closer to finalization. All those months of waiting and agonizing as time seemed to crawl, I'm amazed at how fast time has gone since we've been back home with Ben by our sides. Ben. . . . . I can't say enough about him, he is perfect! He gives us such unconditional love that fills us up so much that at times I feel like my heart might explode. He is my heart!! It's funny because I think in the back of my mind I always wondered if I could love Ben as I love Aubrey and Anthony. I mean I loved him from the moment I saw him, even before that actually, but I mean those secret little fears that you harbor and push away. Well, the answer to that question is YES! I love that boy so much that its almost painful.
We found out that his Indian name (CHIRAG) means bearer of light! That describes him so well that we actually laughed when we read that. He wakes up cranky and wanting a bottle but as soon as he finishes he tosses it aside reaches up for me gives me a sweet little kiss and the most precious smile. What a way to start the day. I'm so thankful that God saw fit to bless our family with the most precious gift. It amazes me when I think of how far apart we were and yet here we are a family!
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

Finally Pictures

FINALLY!!! I'm posting some pictures of our beautiful baby boy. Life has been crazy busy since we have Ben in our lives but it has been so much fun. He has brought such joy and light into our household. He is our amazing gift from God, and I never miss a day with out picking him up, squeezing him tight and whispering those exact words into his ears!

"Home sweet Home!!"

Home! There is no place like it, home is where you rest and I mean truly rest. I am so happy to be here, and show Ben his new home!!! We are currently working on getting his days and nights mixed to where they should be :-) He is such a blessing and has so far bonded beautifully. It's been such a easy transition, that I'm waiting for the big blow up. He does miss his friends and Ayah's, I played the video of his gotcha day and he became very quiet and then crawled over and layed his head on my shoulder. How I wish all his little friends could come live with us also!! I'm going to really try to meet some of the other Dillon moms and hope that our precious babies can be life long friends! It's weird but I've never even met most of the other Dillon moms face to face but I feel as if I have known them my whole life. Almost like we have an unbreakable bond through our babies? Ok its really early and I guess I'm babbling and being emotional! I just really think it's amazing the communication group we have through Dillon!!!!!!

ok on a completely different note, is anyone having trouble with blogger? I can't leave comments on anyones blog, It keeps telling me to sign in and I do over and over but still now luck?

P.S. I've attached a video of Bens gotcha day!!

"Leaving"

WE ARE LEAVING FOR HOME!!!! Woo Hoo!! We went to the embassy today and they had us wait for our packet instead of coming back tomorrow. We asked if we could go home now and they said of course! So thats just what we are doing, 2 days early !!! I miss my other kids so much it's ripping my heart out!! I just want to go home, so praise the Lord he is making it happen. Please all of you that read this pray for everything at the airport to go smooth and that Ben will sleep most of the plane ride away! And when he isn't sleeping he will be good. We have a rotten little booger on our hands, he is very very active! And he doesn't sit still until he just crashes to sleep! I will let everyone know when we get home.

"Dehli"

We are in Dehli, we arrived Sunday night. Ben seems to be adjusting well, he is full of smiles and giggles. I do think he is grieving for his little friends and Ayahs though, sometimes he will just look up at us and start crying. Its enough to break your heart!!
We got done with the Medicals yesterday and it was awful, they gave him 6 shots, so for everyone that has to do this prepare yourself! They wanted to split it up in two days, but we said just get it over with!!! Dr. Chawla is who we used and recommend her. Ben does have a rash that we have to get looked at when we get home, I'm so hoping it isn't scabies:-( We are off to the Embassy tomorrow so keep us in your prayers.

"Ben"

I am able to write this right now because my precious little bundle is sleeping! He is so precious, and has bonded well with Jason. He smiles at me but prefers Jason. I love seeing them bond :-) It was a wonderful experience for both of us!! I can't tell you what it felt like to walk into that room, I recognized most of the babies immediately. It was AWESOME!!! I am exhausted and want to head home. Not sure how it happened but our trip is a long one! We won't arrive home until April 10th, I was trying to make sure I had enough days in there for the embassy. I wish now I would have come home a few days earlier.

We are Here

We made it safely to the Kenilworth hotel in India. We had a nightmare trip that ended with the airline losing our bag. Our electricity adapter was in our bag, which meant no laptop or cell phone. I was a mess and freaking out let me tell you! My poor husband are you all praying for him, he needs it! I don't handle stress well. LOL! First let me start off with if you have a chance stay at this hotel! It is amazing! The staff here goes above and beyond to help you, they even tracked down an adapter when they found out about our luggage. They are why I'm able to write this blog today. Now that the bad news is out of the way, lets talk about the good news. . . . . . . We are picking up Ben tomorrow morning at 11! "I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it! " I will try to post again tomorrow, but I'm not making any promises. I've waited along time to hold my little guy and I just might not put him down again to type on this computer :-)

P.S. If you are in need of a travel agent for your trip to India Todd Gallinek was wonderful for us!

"India, Here we come!"

WE ARE LEAVING TOMORROW!!! FINALLY!!! Boy, now that it's finally here things are moving fast. I feel so many things all at once that my world is topsy turvy right now! Anyway this will be a short post this time, just wanted to take time and say I will be blogging our trip so stay tuned :-)

Sweet Guardianship!

We received guardianship today! :-) :-) :-) I e-mailed Jynger from Dillon last night before I went to bed and asked that she e-mail me when the next case was approved even if it wasn't ours. Every time a case was approved it helped me get through one more day. At 4:30 a.m my alarm clock went off and right after my phone did the e-mail ring :-) Jynger e-mailed us to let us know the judge had approved our case!! And being the nice comforting loving and considerate wife that I am, I screamed, jumped on the bed and yelled at my husband to get up! I have never seen a human being move that fast, I scared the living daylights out of him. LOL all is well he is still alive no heart attack for him!!!! We are so very happy and celebrating this evening !!!

Today Marks 1 year and 9 months waiting for our baby to come home. This is a sweet anniversary for me as I can finally see a light at the end of this long tunnel. I never really believed when we started this process that we would still be waiting. Gods plans are not my plans and his timing is not my timing, thank goodness for that because I think I'd be really good at screwing up his plan :-) I was given a bible verse this week from a dear friend that reminded me of how valued I am by God. "See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;
your walls are ever before me." Isaiah 49:16 Wow that verse says it all doesn't it?

I am so thankful that I have made such wonderful friends through Dillon International, that alone has made this wait bearable. I feel such a closeness and connection with them that I think only adoption can bring. I am so blessed that Dillon has a forum where parents can share, laugh, cry and ask questions, I wasn't aware but not alot of adoption agency have this courtesy for their adoptive parents. A very good friend of ours just adopted from Russia and she longed for someone to talk to who also adopted from Russia, but they had no forum. So today I'm feeling blessed by wonderful friends and an awesome adoption agency.

Merry Christmas

As Christmas is getting near, I find myself getting busier and busier each day. I'm so busy in fact that I haven't even had time to host my annual cookie baking day with my family. Cookie baking around our house is no minor thing, its more like an extravaganza; Flour, sugar, sprinkles everywhere and we love it! I have tried so hard to fill my life with so many things to do this holiday season so I could "forget" for a little while that Ben won't be home :-( Well so much for that because he is never far from my thoughts every second, every moment of everyday. In the process of trying to forget my troubles, I've also forgotten the most important thing of all; my precious savior. Where would I be if he hadn't come to redeem me? I think back to the Luke 2 (the Christmas story) and I think of all the people who were surrounding the area the night Christ was born. These people were desperate for a redeemer and yet they missed it! They missed it? All except for a handful of dirty shepherds, some wise men, and Mary and Joseph. Can you imagine how they felt? Delivering their precious son the savior and redeemer of the world in a dirty stable and no one seemed to care? Guess what God didn't miss it, he was right there for the whole thing!!
In church on Sunday I broke down crying during prayer time and was just begging God to hurry and bring Ben home. I actually said God you just don't understand, I hurt for him so badly. I don't understand why you won't just let us have him now we would take care of him and love him so much better. I felt a peace come over me and Gods presence so strong beside me. It was as if God sat down beside me, put his arm around me and whispered in my ear. It was amazing !!!!! This is what he said: Liberty, I don't know about hurting so badly for my son? Did you forget that I send my son for you? That I KNEW there was no way anyone could love and take care of him the way that I could? That the precious gift I send down here would be rejected? forgotten? Did YOU forget what they did to him? I was there for all of that, I had to witness it! But I love you that much!!! So Liberty, give me Ben, I know what I'm doing and I love him that much!!!!
That's my story this Christmas, a stolen intimate moment with my savior in the middle of church Sunday morning. It was one of the most precious moments of my life as I simply handed my son and heart to my savior. For the next few days before Christmas I want to be in the stable with Jesus not in the Inn missing his birth!!!
Luke 1:14
And you will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth

Merry Christmas and God bless.

NOC

Just wanted to take a quick moment and let you know that we received an e mail saying our NOC was completed and excepted! Woo Hoo I'm doing the happy dance! One more step completed I feel so relieved!!!


"When I was waiting quietly for the Lord, His heart was turned to me, and He gave ear to my cry." Psalms 40:1

"Waiting"

All this waiting just gets harder and harder. I want my baby!!!! I wish I could just fly to India with my hands on my hips and demand they hurry with all this paperwork!! I know I know I was told over and over that this part of the process is the hardest, but honestly I never REALIZED how much I would yearn for Ben (chirag). The holidays are fast approaching and I'm hoping to get so involved in things that I will forget for a little while. Maybe this is wishful thinking, but I am really driving myself and family nuts. How in the world do you function day by day when you can think of nothing else but holding your sweet child, counting his fingers and toes, tickling a smile out of him? Goodness, I feel like all I do is whine on this blog anymore. Enough of that for now:-) I do have 3 new photo's to post today. I'm not sure who took them but Thank you Thank you Thank you from the bottom of my heart !!

New Video

This morning we received a very special gift in our e-mail box. A video of Ben (Chirag) My thanks go to Suzie and her husband for this priceless gift!!! I have been an emotional wreck these past few days, every time I see Ben's picture (and they are every where in the house) I would break down and cry. I know that this is just ridiculous because we only saw his face for the first time in early August. And I know that there are families that waited months and months before they were able to pick up their child, But I miss him! Does that sound crazy since I've never even seen him in person? I think I check my e-mail every five minutes to see if there is anymore news! Any way this video was a special treat and really lifted my spirits.

Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord! Psalms 31:24

Preparing for Fall

September has been a crazy month so far, it has marked the end the home schooling in our house for now. Our fifteen yr old daughter is attending the local public school and our son attending an online Christian school. Everything is super busy, but I'm loving it. I thought I would be sitting around the house missing home schooling, but I find I'm even busier than before. The online Christian school has been a true blessing for us, Aubrey attended last year and did so well with it that we decided to enroll Anthony. If anyone is looking for a christian alternative at home the website is www.christianlegacyacademy.com .

Our adoption process is moving along at a steady pace. We just received notice that the embassy has asked for Ben's Visa pictures and that they have been sent so article five should be right around the corner. The Courts in India usually close for most of October due to holidays so we won't see any movement for the next month. There has been a group of approvals in the last month that moved super fast so that gives me hope for when it's our turn.

I can't help but be excited for the fall weather. I love being able to walk outside and actually smell fall. I love wearing a sweater and drinking apple cider. I love visiting the apple orchards and all the harvest parties:-) What can I say but I LOVE THIS TIME OF YEAR.
"A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it!" Proverbs 15:23

"The Call"

On Friday afternoon at Five o'clock in the afternoon we received a phone call from Tami Davidson of Dillon International asking if she could talk to us about a little boy. I sputtered, I coughed, I pinched myself and then said WHAT! How? We have only been on the waiting list for two weeks. She explained that we were open to more special needs and open to a boy so we were next for this little one. To say that I was shocked is an understatement, I went about the rest of my day in a mist. But now that we have seen the face of our son, and accepted his referral my feet are coming back to the ground and I must say GOD IS AMAZING!!!

First I have to tell you that we were convinced we were getting a girl. Early on in our adoption process my mother when praying for our baby saw a flash of pink. To give you a little background my mom is often given small visions like this when she is deep in prayer, and I have never known her to be wrong. So when Tami called about a boy, I was thinking this couldn't possibly be our baby. But the more she talked the more I felt pulled to this child. I can only explain it as tingling from head to foot. I asked God to help us know if he was the right one and guess what HE DID. In his most recent picture the baby had on a pink shirt!!!!!!!!! Isn't God awesome? I am always amazed at him. So anyway we accepted the referral of little "Chirag" Our name for him will be Ben Avery McClelland.

"Magic Number"

Here it is the magic number 12! I'm so excited to finally be on the waiting list, I really thought the number would be much higher so it is a pleasant surprise! Thank you for all of your prayers, I know we have a long way to go but I'm just so happy to have finished another step.

"Happy Dance"

Today I am doing the Happy Dance. We officially finished our Dossier this afternoon, it is not only finished but on its way to Dillon as we speak. I am overflowing with Joy, I thought this day would never come! After all the problems with our home study this Dossier just seemed to easy, so in complete Liberty style I sat back most of the afternoon waiting for whatever it was that was going to burst my bubble. But guess what it never came!! I can't wait to receive that magic little number that puts us on the waiting list, I'm not sure how it will come but just knowing it will is so exciting:-)

"You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows." Psalms 23:5

Moving along

We are almost finished with the dossier paperwork. I'm hoping in the next week or so to be able to send it to be apostilled. I can't even believe that I can pronounce those two names. I would have never been able to do that two years ago. The waiting list is going to seem so sweet after waiting so long just to be on it. I think just having that number will relieve some of the stress of paperwork, I know months later I'll be pulling my hair out waiting for a call from Tami though.

Things are changing in our family, we have been Home Schoolers for the past 10 years, and next year our daughter (who will be a sophmore) asked to go to school. After lots of prayer and crying, Jason and I have decided to give it a try. This is so hard for me letting her go, but I really feel it will be good for our relationship and for her to stand on her own feet before college.
Our Son will be in the 7th grade and he will be joining an online Christian School this year. So no homeschooling for me. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH MYSELF?

I can feel Gods presence though! He is an ever present help that I sometimes take for granted, but just when I need him I feel him surround me!

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1